…especially in the summer months after a long 8-10-12 hour day of wear?
Me Either!!
But I have triplets. Plus two. And have been a stay-at-home momma for the past 6 years–I knoooowww what it is like to have conflicting sentiments when it comes to things you find mostly adorable, sassy, colorful and simultaneously binding.
Tell me the truth, are you thinking:
“Did she just compare wearing pantyhose and high-heeled shoes to child-rearing a tribe of kids”?
I don’t think I can read her blog from this day forward.
It’s okay. I understand. For the sake of my family, the true nature of my sanity remains classified.
So, just hear me out.
Adorable, sassy and colorful because like shoes, children have a tendency to force us to express who we are in brand new ways.
Do you dig these high heeled shoes? They are my latest Target clearance find—’cause I’m classy and cheap that way.
Binding because—well—I guess just like a pair of pantyhose and 3 inch high-heels, after awhile your thighs need to breathe and the soles of your feet need to touch the ground.
Okay–so the breathing thighs bit really has nothing to do with raising a tribe of kids, but at some point, you need to catch your breath, find your center and somehow regain the ground you lost when the earth shifted slightly to the North East without advanced notification. And then mocked your inability to use a compass or a map and shifted South West—-after giving you a preemptively false feeling of stability.
This time next week, the big yellow bus is coming, our triplets will begin their kindergarten journey and for the first time in 5 years we will not function as one single solitary unit every single solitary waking hour of the day.
For the first time, since the moment of their conception, the triplets will not function within their joint pod. Their very own classroom, their very own teacher, their very own friends, their very own uniquely individual life experiences await them.
And as I increase my intake of Tums in epic proportions, fight off the relentless nervous energy that tends to trigger embarrassing neurotic behaviors akin to hyenas and orangutan, I am choosing to hope and believe with all my heart and soul that they will find their way outside of their “unit”, embrace their new space and claim their very own unique place in this world.
And while a guarded approach is naturally expected, I suspect they will eventually find it absolutely exhilarating, for an abbreviated amount of time each day, to be free of the thigh asphyxiation and crammed toes in high-heels club—while putting just a little air and space between one another.
I know I will.
I’ve been wearing these pantyhose and high-heels, so-to-speak, for a long time.
I also know that I will be chomping at the bit to lap them up and soak them in the very minute they step off that big yellow bus.
The fact of the matter is, I love them to the moon and back—it’s just sometimes they make my thighs sweat and my feet hurt.
~The Grasshoppa
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I have sister’s that just turned 14 and are fraternal twins. They have been lumped together as one unit since birth. A private school with one class for each grade, etc. They started high school this week and are actually apart from each other and so far my mother says they love it. I think you will be surprised by how quickly the triplets will get use to not functioning as one single unit. But you will also see how close their bond is when one or the other needs them.
I will be thinking of you on their first day but I have a feeling you and they will do just fine!
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I know just how you feel! And even though my trio doesn’t start kindergarten for another 2 years **GASP** I am going to start my countdown now! ;D
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I love this post. I agree that kids are like those high heeled shoes and hose. I couldn’t wait to get mine to school and to their dad’s for the weekend. Then I spent hours on the phone tonight with them from my daughters new cell phone. When we weren’t talking, we were texting. I find that I just need to be able to breathe deeply for a few moments before putting back on the spanx.
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LOVED THIS!
Except I haven’t worn high heels and pantyhose in over 6 years <—-True story!
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Binky Reply:
September 1st, 2010 at 9:30 am
Hopefully your a man then. Pantyhose are very sexy and bare legs all the time are boring.
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I dig the heels, but girlfriend DITCH THE HOSE!! The fashion police will put you in jail! Wait……I bet you would enjoy the break a little bit.
Your kids are going to love making new friends. My neighbor insists her twins be together every year (they are in 4th grade) and they do not have friends outside of themselves. They are very smart and super sweet kids, but I see their social development is stunted. They are very immature. (Their mom still talking to them in baby talk might be part of the problem too!) Not that it’s any of my business, but I think if she would separate them, they would have an opportunity to spread their wings a bit. But she’s a helicopter parent…..so there’s no chance in that happening.
What are you going to do with all your free time? Oh yeah, that’s right. Study. <–better you than me! Let me know when you want to meet at the mall for a study break.
<–I wish. 
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Wow. I just can’t imagine keeping mine together all that time. They would be at each others throats!!!!
Thank you for the well wishes.
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Melisa Reply:
August 20th, 2010 at 8:40 am
Oh, they have spent 13 years being at each others throats! I don’t know how many times they have said they hated each other or how many times they have beat on each other. But in the end, they are each others biggest fan.
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Oh lawd. 2 years. I will send help. Not sure how. But will think of something. Maybe a cabana boy?
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Bless your heart! and heels!
5 children in 6 years? Oy Woman! How did you do it?
I have a 16 & a 25, boy/man. The moved to Hollywood a month ago…and
I will confess to you and you ALONE there is some sense of freedom.
I do miss them when I allow my brain to wander. In fact, that’s why I started blogging! Escape.
Every set of twins I’ve watched, both as a child and as my sons grow up have been unique, yet connected. They are separate individuals to their friends, but still a unit themselves…does that make sense?
Best to you. Go ahead and wail when you need to. But don’t ever feel guilty about taking off those bloody stockings. You’ll be refreshed when the bus comes back round.
Thanks for the follow
CityMom
ellen
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It’s true. The first time we were free when we had our 1st child—–we sat and watched video of her all weekend.
We are lame. Lame lame lame ducks.
Quack.
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Well lets put an end to that. I say wear them to bed TONIGHT. Mr. Mikey will likey.
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You mean my fishnet stockings are out of style? Dash it all.
Sad about your neighbor. Maybe I should call and have a little discussion with her.
I will totally meet you anywhere for a crabcake next time you in town!! I will even skip class for princess! :0)
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Binky Reply:
September 2nd, 2010 at 12:28 am
Stockings are never out of style. This bare legged look has gone way too far. The Flintstone’s look is for the birds.
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Now my feet hurt?!? What the heck!
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That was a great post.
I have no pearls to share on the triplet front, but my baby starts in 14 days … and though I know she is ready … I am not so sure I am.
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I hope one day we can come together, in bra-shoe unity.
It’ll be beautiful.
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I believe in 3 weeks? Philly!
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oh Gosh no. Our triplets and baby are born 3 years apart but our first baby is 17 years old!!
I stayed at home with her until she went to grade school.
Have been staying home with triplets since I was preggo with them!!
And WOW. Hollywood. How special is that? Exciting! And peaceful
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You need a foot massage, pronto.
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I know. I feel like a basket case. One minutes I am elated, the next minute I am popping TUMS. I might end up in the wacky ranch after all.
I think we will all make it. You will too. Or you can just join me on the ranch
Have missed you!
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How exciting and nerve-wrecking at all once. I hope their first day of school goes well. Were you not a SAHM before you had the triplets?
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